The Strong Ones

November 2015 / Deadlift 345 lbs

I started this entry out as a quick-ish synopsis of my experience with weightlifting and how its lessons translated into so many other areas of my life. It really got me thinking, though, and that is a dangerous thing. This is when we find ourselves in “short story long” territory. My husband has always been patient in my story telling, but he will also encourage me to “make the point” when I stray off course. In the case of “the strong ones,” there was simply too much to keep it readable for one post but over the past couple of days I have realized this was the direction I have been headed all along.

A few years ago I asked a group of ten people who, at the time I felt knew me well, to describe me in one word. Eight of them said “strong.” That came about during a time when I was feeling everything but strong. Here’s an excerpt of something I wrote then: 

I cried. Every time I saw that word, I felt like a fraud… and yes, we are strong, but we are also human and in the moments that I read that same word over and over again all I could think was how tired I was of being strong... We all have to go through some tough times, make hard decisions, and experience a little heartache in our lives. Those lessons are the ones that teach us the most about who we really are & can be. I don’t think that process has an end in sight for me, but I’m learning to respect it, enjoy it, and believe in the promises it brings. Recognizing when you’ve had enough is one (thing) I’m not so good at – you know, because I’m strong.

I’m chuckling at the girl who wrote that. True, she had had enough but there has been so much more since, it makes me curious… how do we continue on when life gets hard? Well, the answer is we find the strength. And that has me down a deep dark rabbit hole of wondering over the meanings and types of strength. What are some specific scenarios where I felt strong? The answers surprised me because they ranged from a high school weight room to a delivery room, then to a flooded basement or a NICU, the end of a year-long deployment (and then another), even further on to a 345 lb deadlift, to walking away from a toxic environment, to helping my friend bury her dog, and to burying friends, marrying friends, moving… and moving… and moving… All of these examples made me realize that strength isn’t just as defined: “1. the quality or state of being physically strong or 2. the capacity of an object or substance to withstand great force or pressure.” There has to be more to it! So we have come to the ‘short story long’ version of “The Strong Ones…”

This year has been what I have termed my “snow globe year.” My whole world got turned upside down and then shaken vigorously. The beauty in that level of “falling apart” is that in the righting and settling of the world, everything changes. Nothing will ever look the same, feel the same, BE the same. Once you get right side up again, you have a choice to either keep looking at the world as what you lost in the change or you can walk in the knowledge that you are STRONG enough to withstand the ‘snow globing’ of your world and not only continue on, but find purpose in the changes, gratitude in the small moments, and faith of greater days to come. The strong ones put all the burdens of life on their backs and keep moving forward.

One step at a time.

Why? Because they know that their legs aren’t strong enough to carry them by accident. They know that their eyes were designed to focus on what’s ahead of them, not what they are passing through or have left behind. They know that they have and will see worse, but their desire to keep moving forward is stronger than the load they carry. STRENGTH does not come to anyone in any form easily or by accident. In this season of life my strength has been earned with the pain of disappointment, the sting of failure, the tears of betrayal, the fear of being left behind, and the risk of losing. The strong ones know all of those things well, but they also know that what lies on the other side of disappointment, failure, and betrayal is greater…

As Maya Angelou said “…the price is high, but the reward is great.”

As I like to say, “Life is going to be hard… be strong anyway.” It’s worth it.

4 thoughts on “The Strong Ones

  1. I, too, am always referred to as Strong for a myriad of reasons. I used to hate it. The mere word “Strong” became a burden that oftentimes felt simply too heavy. As I read your snow globe analogy, my soul started nodding in agreement. My snow globe moment was the death of my oldest Son. (Mommy loves you, Matthew) . Excruciating pain; I honestly believed I was physically dying. And again my village repeated “you are so strong”. Was I? Did I have a choice? Do any of us? As I live and breath, I’ve realized that I am mostly strong. It is one of my greatest attributes. I have learned to embrace my strongness. I have begun lifting at the gym. I do it because I want my physical strength to catch up. Anyway, your words resonated with me like a cherished gift. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kate, my deepest condolences for your loss. No words that I, a stranger can offer, will mean much beyond what you’ve already heard a thousand times. I Am grateful for your village as I know the value of having one. Mine always forced me to look past my own vision and dare to see what others see in me and in doing so, I draw strength from them. Without a doubt your son is proud of your walk, burdens and all, and your relentless pursuit of life. I am glad you found me here and that my words brought you some measure of affirmation. Sometimes we just need to know that we are seen. I see you, strong one. Blessings to you and thank you for taking the time to read.


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